Seriously. Can I be done? I want to get a job and put Kiwi in a full-time school.
So far, 12 is not my favorite age-of-my-child. She swings back and forth between being my sweet little girl to being.... well.... some snarly, nasty, angry little thing that is so not fun to be around.
I thought this year would be fun. Yeah. Call me crazy. Or, naive. I thought we'd go see all these amazing historical places and museums and just enjoy our time together...uh, yeah. Basically it's more just whining about how awful it is to live here and how much she misses her friends and she wants to go back home. Now. Today. With or without me and her dad. As if she'd last one day; but she thinks she's all big and grown up. Honestly, if it wasn't for the fact that airfare is completely out of my reach, I'd send her off, if only to teach her a lesson. Or, she really would be happy and I wouldn't have to deal with her.... either way, it'd be win-win.
Okay, I probably wouldn't. That would be mean. Right? Bad mommy-ish? Ah, but for some peace and quiet!! The real problem, bottom line, is that I am an introvert and Kiwi is an extrovert. She craves being around people; I want to be left alone. For awhile. Being that she is stressed from the move, lonely without her friends, and suffering from the mood swings of tween-ager-angst, she is more clingy than ever before, and what I need, given those same circumstances (okay, yeah, my mood swings are more of the pre-menopausal sort, but still) I just would really, really like to have some time alone, for-the-love-of-all-that-which-does-not-suck!! This is how bad it is - when I go to the bathroom - which, you know, really ought to earn ya some alone time - she follows me into my room and flops down on my bed so she can talk to me. Cripes. The only reason I'm on here now without interruption is because she is 10 feet away from me on the laptop. sigh
Homeschooling. What was I thinking??!
Speaking as the mother of 4, the youngest of which is a 12 year old girl, it sounds like your daughter is desperate for socialization with kids her own age... and I'm quite sure she is feeling just as miserable as you are.
ReplyDeleteBelieve me, things will only get worse as she gets older... that's the natural order, homeschooled or not, new home or not. LOL - I'm convinced god created adorable babies so you would have no choice but to fall madly in love with them, and I'm equally convinced that he created teenagers so that you look forward to the day when they turn into adults and move out. :)
Anyway, it's amazing how one or two new friends can completely change a 12 year old's perspective, outlook, and attitude. Sounds like she'd probably thrive in a traditional school setting. Not knowing your reasons for homeschooling, can she join a sports team or theater group? Something with kids her own age? Something other than being at home with mom all day, every single day, forever and ever (or so it would seem in her 12 year old mind)?
Seriously, teens pretty much hate you (not all the time, but most of the time), and you don't need to supply them with even more reasons to feel that way. Have faith - when she's in her 30's you'll have a wonderful woman to woman relationship with her. Honestly speaking, it sounds like that's the kind of relationship you're hoping to have with her right now, but no matter how close you two are or have been as mother and daughter, she's just too young at this point to fill that role.
Have you met any friends in VA yet? I certainly understand what you're going through, and I feel for ya! Wishing you well!
Speaking as a mother of 5, the third who is an 11 year old girl- Amen. lol
ReplyDeleteActually, I would have said that 13 was the age when they start thinking EVERYTHING you say or do is "dumb", embarrassing, or just plain wrong.
Guess that just makes Kiwi precocious :)
You're welcome. Vanilla sugar is soooo easy - you're gonna love it.
ReplyDeleteI hope you're enjoying the fall colors in VA.
:)
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